Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
