We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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