I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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