At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
