I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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