dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Everclear isn't food dammit
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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