i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
