the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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