Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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