THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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