Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
