U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
