What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
