I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
