My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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