she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
