i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
