Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
