Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
