He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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