Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
