matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
