i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
