When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
