I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
