What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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