big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
