omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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