Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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