drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
