went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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