new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
