try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
