Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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