He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Four minutes until I can fart!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
