oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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