I must be too annoying 4 u.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Mom said you looked used
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize