Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
