we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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