So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I am available for nakedness
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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