You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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