he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize