Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
the liver wants what the liver wants
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
