My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
