No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize