yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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