she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize