But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
