I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
