; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
4 words: hood of his car
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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