I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
