I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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