you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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