she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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