Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
