"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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