it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
