I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
