just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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