I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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