She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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