All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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