This is not my ceiling
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
