whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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