do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize